Okay note to some people.

First irritating person who keeps on tagging on my tag board: I know u are the same person cuz ur IP is reoccurring...DUH. Change ur IP

Second to the durianz: i know ur won't read this even though we are the closest friends and I never bought any of you birthday presents and we always greet each other happy birthday about a week late................................but if u do.......I REALLY WANNA PLAY SOCCER.

Third to my hazel: CHLOOB. ( Norman speak for chosen loser noob)

Fourth to YOU: I KNEW U MISSED ME. i just knew it. i had it...a feeling you know? i had it there(points to gut)........ Not that i care really.

5th to another YOU: but no really we are friends. i feel the need to see other women.........hah just kidding. I meant I need to see ALOT of other women before anything u know?

5th Santa clause: dude....who u kidding with that Beard? and why are u so fat? And why u hang out with elves? if there is one person i want to beat up ITS U CUZ OF ALL THE INNOCENT KIDS WHO U'RE LYING TO. 2pid bajoni.





I’ve been thinking...and i want to go places.... no no I don't want to go far in life..... *something vulgar* that! I mean I want to go to FAR PLACES, like never-never land, yup I know where it is....................... Michael Jackson’s house.

First stop: Central Park(YES YES YES!)


Second Stop: Louvre, Paris. wow. really wow.


Last stop: LAO PA SAT HAWKER CENTRE!(hungry can?)


Seriously la.... don't need the fancy nancy BS of the louvre or the serenity of Central park. Carrot cake and laksa. shiok. enough. and to think i had to go all the way to paris to enjoy life. HAH! Here have some fishcake.....MMM FISH CAKE.

Like have u ever wondered why the hawker stalls prices haven't went up yet? Does GST affect the hawkers really? do they have to pay goods and services tax? i mean...their not just selling goods and providing services, oh nonono, their providing GOOD SERVICES! Give me a singlet wearing uncle anytime and shove that Mcdonalds uniform up my.....okay not up mine, but yours.

if anything, the government has to be taxed. First...i don't get no goods NOR services from you, so i go get it myself la. And u want to TAX me for it? geez

I know this is overbearing on you guys but seriously inflation rates has had a TREMENDOUS detrimental financial effect on me as well!..........i mean....c'mon seven elevens, you could close ur shop for A COUPLE OF HOURS RIGHT? to cut cost no? U cannot.... U JUST CANNOT..... Charge more than a $1.15 for mentos. i swear. if u do that it'll have severe psychological damage to me!

Here’s the math:
Norman's financial budget for Mentos(necessity)
avg price of mentos= $1
How much Norman prepared to pay for weekly mentos supply= $7
Cost variance (due to stress or meeting too many sweet toothed people)= 7+2=$9

thats one mentos tube a day. i'm a tube-a-day-mentos-sucker(everyone has an addiction right?)

Pro Forma statement:
Price of mentos due to inflation (good-for-nothing-IR)= $1.20!!!!
Number of tubes Norman can buy per week= $7 / $1.20= 5.833333 Mentos/Week

I HAVE TO CUT DOWN BY 2 MENTOS PER WEEK CAN U BELIEVE IT?!?!?!? i might suffer from MWS!(mentos withdrawal symptom)

And now i realized that the government missed out some crucial factors when discussing this years budget plan. Ok for those of u that duns know, here's what they are going to do:

1. Tax the rich
2. Give the poor

Sounds robin hoodish i know. Forgivingly noble. Awfully forward thinking. There’s a hint of plot-to-steal-our-cash in there but its negligible. but they missed out on a minor detail that might be the MAKE OR BREAK for Singapore.

me.

Am i rich? No. am i poor? No. Am I handsome? Extremely. So where does that leave me?


NOWHERE.

it sucks to be taxed I’m sure. its not too cool to be spoon-fed by old men in suits as well, that’s for sure. but what about being...NOT AFFECTED. what?what about the not-rich-not-poor-incredibly-handsome-unusually-charming-outrageously-witty-dashingly-Charismatic-no-money-where-my-money guy like me? Where does that put me?

Dinner party scene:
Social idiot: ah taxes.... going up up up. Everything is going up. Its so expensive to live in Singapore nowadays.
Me: yah.
Social idiot #2: yah! The prices of everything is so expensive now. The rising GST is really making shopping a bore!
Me: yah.
Social Idiot #3: oh and the property has been soaring! People selling property like pancakes!
Me: yah..... so have you heard Man Utd just bought Hargreaves, Nani and anderson!?!?!?
Social idiot #1,2,3: yah
Me: WHAT YAH!?!??! WHY DON"T YOU BAJONIES YAH THIS!!! *offensive gesture on both hands* (clue: its not my 2nd finger.............dun know?...............okay okay its the my index finger as well)

^ see? Notice something? I’m just....not cool in that conversation. Not cool. bo pian not my fault, Government never think about me.

We are the FUTURE OF SINGAPORE! i'm going to be the first Singaporean to make it to the Billboard charts!!!!!....................right after people stop listening to britney spears.

Estimated Britney’s useful life after 10 more marriages, 20 more babies, 5 more almost number 1 singles...................should be around 20 years. gosh I’ll be 39 by then......hmmm never mind I’ll sell to the middle aged crisis people. I’ll sing about taxes. I’m sure they'll relate.




i realize the longer i blog, the longer i stay away from blogging.
Judging from today's post it'll be a good year before i start blogging again.
well.... at least girls still like me.

yours guys-i-really-wanna-play-soccer-kal-please-don't-pangseh-us-ly
Norman The Great!