Wednesday, January 30, 2008

okay dokie how's ya'll doin there? shut up i'm not interested. I'm as interested in other people as I am with women and their shopping sprees.

How is it women can go out and spend like crazy and feel better about themselves? Like lets say they take a long time to save that money or work for it. spend it all in a day. If i were them, I'd find a cheaper hobby.......... but think about it.... what else can women do? Amuses how they can walk like at miles on end and not feel tired. Like even if i were to strap on me jogging shoes, some shorts and a singlet. and pace myself beside her the entire day, resting at shop "pit stops", i think i'll still extremely exhausted. Panting at best….still alive though. But they’ll be good to go. plus its not only physically tiring its a also very very mentally trying:

me lady: do i look fat in this?

MOI: WOAHHH...sthat a trick question? dun i get a multiple choice or something?

me lady: do i look?

MOI: .........fat? oh gosh there goes my evening.

plus they'll be excited and all after you are completely beat:

Her: hey lets go for a movie!

Moi the Great: ……..hey babe how bout a better suggestion…..i’ll go this way…..home and you can do whatever the hell you want alone. Bye bye sucka see ya wouldn’t wanna be yah I’m outta here faster than u can say superkelifrigilasticespiellidocious.

Her: I can’t say that 


The government is too rich. Yes that’s right…..getting rich off our hardworking asses. I don’t suggest we do anything about it cuz….. I’m Singaporean, we tend to not be proactive like that. But there’s abit of evidence everywhere around in Singapore that the government’s got too much money to spend and trying to figure out weird ways to spend it.

Like one thing I don’t understand….is why they gotta put em blinking lights at em zebra crossings….? Dun u got enough street lamps already? Aren’t we a little too bright at night like nothing’s outta sight might as well grab a bite in Singapore already? Oh but they might argue…..

‘Em pricks: The lights are for people to spot the zebra from distances from as far as 100 metres away. The blinking helps cars and pedestrians see it clearer. We are trying to use these instruments to improve road safety see?

ME: …………………………………………WHATEVER MAN.

Tell me honestly how many of us will go outta all dressed on a Friday night wanting to cross road and go:

YOU(idiot): ohh I wanna cross the road…..WHY NOT DO IT THE SAFE WAY???? WHY NOT WALK 100 METRES TO A FREAKING ZEBRA CROSSING SO I CAN CROSS THE ROAD??? OH I CAN”T JUST CROSS HERE. THAT SHIT IS ILLEGAL. I CAN”T DO THAT. Oh I better rush before the bouncers at the club start rejecting the underage people.

Tis’ here is called delusional thinking. Em government pricks think we too nice:

Em pricks: They won’t do anything illegal would they? If they get restless we’ll just start another hello kitty craze….that’ll keep em busy for awhile.

And whats with all the signs…. Okay so we aren’t smartest bunch. BUT WE AIN’T STUPID. Have u traveled the PIE from tampines to the west? It says to keep to the center or right lanes if you are going to jurong WHEN U ARE AT TAMPINES. Like its giving you false …hope. You are reaching. Hang in there. BUT WHEN U ARE IN A CAB AND YOU AT TAMPINES GOING TO BUKIT TIMAH IT SURE AIN”T NEAR AT ALL ESP WITH EM MIDNIGHT CHARGES. Freakin hell. Plus they put the same sign….every 1km. just so you know u are on the right track. Just so u dun get lost, make a wrong turn or something in a very straight very one directional expressway. Yeah u might get lost there.

And you know what? I think the government CONSPIRED to make us Singaporeans pay more for cab fees. I mean…..considering our standard of transportation now in singapore. I’m sure they could run the MRT for a couple more hours couldn’t that? Budget constraints? Take em lights off the zebra crossings. That’ll save money AND electricity. We wouldn’t mind. But keep them MRTs going till 1 or 2! That’ll give us options at least. In Singapore if you are in Tampines and its 11.35 when the last train just left at 11.30……….its not so funny. Not a laughing matter most definitely. So if u ain’t got no money u can’t even take you broke ass home (check out the pun… know the song? Hah… okay whatever man) and for like the rest of the morning u’ll just be sleeping on the sidewalk. Fun huh. But if u do have SOME cash, you can VOLUNTEER yourself to be robbed, by them damned cabs. I tell you it’s a conspiracy to take all our already depleted earnings.

You know whatever…I learned that in Singapore….. we dun live by our rules. Noope. Our lives are not governed by us….instead its governed by the holy trinity, the big guy up there……………………………………………lee hsien long. The holy trinity being him, his father and the fella who he just replaced. Em three here are is what was going to govern your miserable ass for the rest of your life. Deal with it. Dun lie to yourself. DEAL with it. You have an issue? Here have a tissue.

Me here Norman the Great signing off reminding you that losers never prosper…..cuz their losers.

Peace in