Tuesday, May 29, 2007

DEEP SHIT page 4:

okay this shit is really getting deep. if you guys can't take it i suggest u eat some pasta. that solves almost anything for me.

alright today's shit is particularly deep, so if you've got your extra large bowl of pasta, i'll start :D

okay did you guys watch miss universe? okay i admit myself i didnt really watch i only watch the part where they selected the top 10 la. ya. you know what is the most funny? i cfm you all the girls in their mind(while their half smiling) is bitching about the other girls. ESPECIALLY those that never kena chosen. those are the ones that bitch the most.

so in the end my sis told me its JAPAN that won the thing. alright while its all fine and dandy that an ASIAN won it and like my sis and mum quite proud of the japanese bitch, i was thinkig. WHAT JAPAN???? WHY JAPAN? all she does is eat sushi and watch hentai la probably. wah lao eh ur got taste anot?

i tell u who deserve to win. serious one. seriously.

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at first i was thinking . yah same as you. the hell is she doing here? then they mentioned that she plays soccer during her free time. then i think, wah win liao lor. close eyes, no need see is hands down she win already. i mean, she plays soccer leh. what can be more sexy than that?

but turban in the end they give it to a starving-living-on-wasabi bitching girl. where is the justice in this world tell me, WHERE?

to me my two favourites were the, tanzanian one or this one:

ms malaysia! HAHAHAHAHHA
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HAHHAHAHAH. okay la that was just mean. HAHAHHAHAHAHA


chin ai nee in chinese= very love you. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH adeline very love you HAHAHAHAHHAA can you give us a more corny name ms malaysia?

ms malaysia: erm... no


okay okay my sis wants to use now. gotta chow. i'm still laughing btw. HAHAHHAH


NORMAN THE GREAT!(go ms malaysia!)

Thursday, May 24, 2007

wow... my book is really kicking off. i can see myself in the book review column already:


hmph...as if i need your stupid reviews. okay so for those of you who don't already know, i'm starting a new book....well sorta, and you can track my progress here. right here. i'll post here one new page in my new book till i reach a 'bookable' amount then i'll stop.

DEEP SHIT page 3:

Norman(the Great): mummy where's my food?
Mum: here cooking
Norman(still great): then my chicken soup how???!??!?!?!
Mum: cook already .... itell you, this kind of mother how to find?
Norman (feels the need to redeem greatness): Everywhere have mummy. all supermarket and 7-eleven got sell. just that they don't call it mum. they tend to name it....INSTANT. you know?
Mum: huh?
Norman (at this point really great): yah.... instant noodles, instant pasta, instant soup. see? they sell it everywhere.

HAH! k la thats a little mean la but... JOKE LA JOKE. can't u take a joke you bajon i?

BAJONI(bER-JoE-Knee): norman's insulting word. means very very stupid. comlpetely original and didn't kope from anywhere one. could have originated from the rock's insulting word, jabroni, but norman likes to think he made it up himself.

i have to say one thing. internet rocks la. eat your heart out stupid child pornogrophy surfers.

and whats up with girls? keep on....and when i say keep on doesn't mean... once in a while u know? KEEP ON KEEP ON COMPLAINING THEIR FAT. like c'mon la who cares u fat or not la serious? only audience of your fatness is yourself la seriously. yea... learn to love urself. GO NAKED. thats right. just take the risk,and go naked. don't worry you know us guys might complain for awhile about violation of our man rights, but ultimately u know we'll get used to it. i mean, what can we say? we have to live in compromise right?


********stupid extraded girls section********************************************

noodle said: lets go grab a bite ..

then norman says: noodle em and gaylie are the sweetest girls ever!!!!

and noodle rocks exrra.

**********************i had nothing to do with this section**********************

sweet my young roody poo
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have you ever wondered why people call us students? you know? like for me i go to school to learn. not to STUDY. like wth? why don't they call us learndents? that way school will be so much more fun to go to everyday right? like...I PAY MONEY TO STUDY? c'mon la libraries are free education man. we go school to learn! and can you believe they call sex an education? sex education. that itself sounds absurd! so what i have to study sex now? where's my practical cher? where's our hands on exercises? I JUST HAVE TO LOOK AT THIS 2D PHOTO OF GUY AND GIRL!?!??! THE HELL LA???? then some young kid to do some experiments of for himself and ends up with a kid. sex education.

this is what i think of it
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this guy needs some sex or education HAH!
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okay i'm going swimming now take care and dont lose your shorts

signing off while taking his pants offly

Norman The Great!

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

DEEP SHIT(norman's new book) entry 2 page 2:

yesterday i had a philosopher's moment. thats right. one moment in time where i had a stroke of a genius. probably took some good few cans to trigger that genius but i want to believe its still some sorta genius somehow.

no this didn't help at all i did it all on my own
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Norman: everyone lives by a set of rules that they set for themselves
Colm/wah/dog/bobdog/ guarddog/topdog/hotdog: you mean principles la
Norman: Principles are a set of rules one sets for himself. A descision one makes before the decision needs to be made.

Ops not exactly the cool philosopher's look i had in mind
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i know...totally sexy. i amuse myself sometimes.

I'd like to follow he's set of rules :D
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V: [Evey pulls out her mace] I can assure you I mean you no harm.
Evey Hammond: Who are you?
V: Who? Who is but the form following the function of what and what I am is a man in a mask.
Evey Hammond: Well I can see that.
V: Of course you can. I'm not questioning your powers of observation I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is.
Evey Hammond: Oh. Right.
V: But on this most auspicious of nights, permit me then, in lieu of the more commonplace sobriquet, to suggest the character of this dramatis persona.
V: VoilĂ ! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.
[carves V into poster on wall]
V: The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous.
V: Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.
Evey Hammond: Are you like a crazy person?
V: I am quite sure they will say so. But, to whom am I speaking with?
Evey Hammond: I'm Evey.
V: Evey? E-V. Of course you are.
Evey Hammond: What does that mean?
V: It means that I, like God, do not play with dice and I don't believe in coincidences.

have you watched the show? huh? what show is this???? V FOR VENDETTA I'M SORRY ITS ONLY THE GREATEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME?? next to Godfather and Pulp Fiction of course. BUT STILL ITS THE GREATEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME HELLO? huh?

imagine if i you were acting in that movie.

Norman: are you like a crazy person?
V:I am quite sure they will say so but honestly you are the crazier one sitting there listening to this V-siao guys spouting V-words. so to whom am i speaking with?
Norman: Norman
V: Norman? No-man of course you are
Norman: what does that mean?
V: It means that I, like God, do not play with dice and I don't believe in coincidences......oh crap that doesn't apply here.

He spent 10 years laying a track that leads to parliament. WHAT A LOSER. like if anyone can bear a grude, HE MOST CERTAINLY CAN. but he's the most coolest loser la.

Mr Creedy at his most handsome
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Mr Creedy: *bang bang bang shoots some bullets* why won't you die?
V: Beneath this mask Mr creedy, is an Idea. And ideas....are bulletproof *strangle strangle strangle choke dies mr creedy poor mr creedy*

bulletproof? what is it waterproof as well? cool? 7-eleven got sell? $5.90? kao eh so cheap? huat ah!

okay closing thought for the day. next time you go to City hall MRT or any interchange like that where they have the doors? you obeserve how the people RUN TO THE OTHER SIDE. nononoo not walk briskly nope. RUN. EVEN WHEN THE TRAIN HAVEN"T COME YET? then they'll PUT THEIR FACE TO THE DOORS. you know why they do this? cuz the irritating lady with the irritating MRT voice got too much things to say already in between stops so she can't say" please give way to alighting passengers" so what singaporeans do? since she never say dun need give way la. EH WHAT U RUSH IN FIRST GOT PRIZE ISIT? THE MRT FLOOR THERE GOT GOLD AH MUST GO IN FIRST? these are probably the same people to complain about rising GST or increased MRT rates.

signing off most-angrily

Norman The Great

Monday, May 21, 2007

k so i've decided to do shit with my life. thats right i'm going to do some shit in my life. not just some shit....i'm talking about some really really really DEEP SHIT.

thats right and i'm going to start now. i'm going to write in daily thoughts abouts everything you don't need to know and i'm going to compile the book eventually and call it....


marketing plan simple: i want people to read this stuff and go "this is some....deep shit"

totally radical. millionairism now!

daily deep shit number #1(how exciting):

k you know what really gets me? ambition. thats right ambition. don't you think its a little overated? like everyone wants to get it but not sure what it really is. is it on sale? ambition u there? can u hear me? if u can then u can come here and kiss my sorry ass cause its smelly......... k i revealed to much.

gist of the story is that ambition has a dang big ego thinking he's all that(realize how i use he and not she?) like fine whatever man i don't even need you in my life u piece of dung.

Norman's growing list of hates:
1. joakim
2. britney spears
3. jennifer hudson
4. spoilt brats
5. wussies
6. my food to be eaten by someone else
7. someone else eating my food
8. fair-weathered chelsea fans
9. simple plan

right there right there with the big boys. AMBITION. hah....not feeling too good about yourself right now sucka? HAH! listen to me buddy, Norman doesn't need no ambition. why? cuz he's got fate. thats right. FATE TO NORMAN: YOU ARE GREAT.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. this post is so crap i don't even wanna say it. but i did.

today i ran like a dog. thats what my friends call me. NormDog. I Appreciate my friend alot. sometimes.... so when i ran like .....alot, and when i sprinted home the for the last part(good england ah normana) like i had a Man Utd match to watch(it was a monday) and then when i reached my house i was like.......wah tired until going to die. then i thought.....wait a minute, aren't we all going to die? and in that moment, felt good. only one moment, then after that wanna die again.

anyone ever watch desperate housewives? u realize how after SOOOO long u never watch then suddenly u watch with ur sister again(cuz she was eating chips) then you realize that the story never really changes? its like.... eh? still this story ah? i thought like that was the last episode? huh? that was 10 episodes ago? okay.

model moment
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another model with ambitions(new pose style called "sleepy" look)
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boys gone wild
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how exciting life is typing reports 3 weeks overdue. and if ever ever ever...u think in your miserable life that its not worth living. let me tell you something. You're probably right. but what people don't know is.... no point dying either. so live with it! stop whining about the grass on the other side. singapore grass all the same on trust me.

thats all folks. tatatatatatatatatttehtehtehtehteh

Yours not-quite-sincerely

Norman The Great