Monday, June 16, 2008

C'est La Vie

most people. almost all people, live their lives in mediocrity. i have nothing against that. its just that i dun want to be normal. i dun want to be mediocre. i don't have to be famous or insanely rich or whatever. i just want to live knowing i was something and not nothing. if i had only one life i'd want to be something great. its not a dream or a wish, more like a plan. like my future was written in the stars. I AM going to be someone someday. and all the weakminded people in the world can eat their socks when that day comes. Sometimes i wonder why people are so weak. why they behave the way they do, or how they react when emotional. Im not right all the time but least i keep my head where it should be.

vices, everyone has a vice. i believe having a vice is not as bad as not KNOWING you have a vice. some people can be completely delusional about knowing their strengths and weaknesses. I know my vices. i know my strengths. so don't come to me with your holier than though attitude and lecture me about what u think is right or wrong. seriously. screw you. i'm the master of my life, commander of my ship. you want me to do something against my wishes you'd better have a gun to my head.

people say im a christian cuz i go to church. seriously i think religion is higly overated. I dun consider myself a christian at all. i just believe in God. Screw the Nicene creed. i wanna believe what i wanna believe. it doesn't have to be what you believe. so get outta my face with you rules about being a christian because sometimes i suspect your religion is a mere....facade, a face to put on every sunday to get along with other masked people. all of you pretending you're god damned holy but seriously i can see. i can see there's more to your belief than you think there is. God is your comfort zone. you treat him that way. do you really believe in him? i doubt most of you really do. Credit to those who really love their God be it muslim, hindu or christians, whatever, some people really want to worship their God and live god fearing lives. well good for you no objections against that.

I know a family who really seem nice and dandy and all. like the textbook kinda Good god fearing person. but recently they have had gone tough times, with the mother having some fatal diesease. and i just thought, that would really suck wouldn't it? i mean if i spent so much time with God, hoping that he would bless me a little you know? and my wife just gets this brain cancer or shit like that....i mean....that would really suck right? plus she's like....young. what the hell. People like me should die young. people who don't give two cents about their lives. who WISH to die young. but still here. Bad things happen to good people.

C'est la fucking Vie

Friday, June 06, 2008

the introverted extrovert

You know what i can't stand? if you can't stand then sit down. shit like that. People are always up your backs, you know you're wrong sometimes but its just easier not to give in. Always looks cooler if you stuck one in their faces. or could just make you look plain childish.

i realize quiet people dun have it too good. haven't been saying much lately so maybe thats why im feeling abit shittyyy. Life could be like that sometimes but you dun have to play it like it lays out oh no. sometimes, make a mistake, see where the road leads you. least if you end up a crook you can say you planned it.

No one plans to go to prison whys that? okay maybe the accommodation( i spelt this word wrong the first time. thank God for Word spell) isn't exactly 5 star but hey..... least you know you don't have to worry about going no place worse.

How's it like to be gay really? i really like being straight just a thought. if i was....but how? thats what i wanna know how? how do people realize know what....i think i'm gay. presumably we all come out of the hole as straight right? see our mums have HAD to be heterosexual to have us yes? so then how what wrong? or right? hmmmmmm

hell, im straight. But why do people frown more when people say their gay than when they say their lesbian? i don't get its slightly more socially acceptable to be a homosexual woman. I don't know. in a lesbian relationship who wears the pants? plus i've seen some lesbians and i don't know if their really into their own sex or their just trying to get some attention. out of my faces ya'll

i'd started to get angry with people easily lately. i thought....anger management problem. too many mafia movies and books. not that really, i think i just began to see people in a more....i don't know i just began to realize how stupid people can be. I dun see why some people cannot see their own faults. like i know i can see mine and when they point it out to me i get irritated. like i didn't already know thanks for announcing it i really needed that now i feel so much better.

and people hide their feelings. whats up with that? if you don't wanna share something.... thats fine. but SOME things you gotta share. its give and take love. dun go acting like you are all locked up and oh boo hoo poor things got some problem he/she can't solve. GOOD MORNING wake up man, you not getting any support cuz you're not sharing. an introvert is an extrovert who prefers to let it out in one go. history has proven, not advisable route to go. bottomline. go let it out.

songs that are played too much get boring. is it just me? well screw you. but i feel the radio kills all good music. its okay if you've heard it once or twice. but when its all over the place it gets WAYY too irritating to sound anything like music.

does anyone feel hurt tonight.